The story diverged from the outline right in the first scene. She was supposed to let him in, he would turn and she'd shoot him. The police would arrest her for killing him, but would have treated her a lot better. So right from the start she was in a worse position than originally intended.The second divergence came when the biker who was supposed to 'rescue' her didn't show up. I must have argued with him for an hour, but he insisted he would not have stayed in the city that long. He was not nearly as evil a person as the MS-13 gang-banger who did finally make an appearance, and while he would have done what he wanted with her, without even asking, she wouldn't have said no.So I changed the outline, a matter of a few lines and it really tied in better with the other stories anyway. So then, after I make the adjustments, and he is about to force her ... She laughs at him. I was shocked, seriously, but it was what she would have done. She saw him for what he really was, a posturing. "Ch'Wing and Ch'Dan looked toward him as though for guidance, but Shantar just shrugged as he led his pony up the temporary ramp. The rest of the ponies, seeing one of their number precede them, were easily led into the craft."Now, take care that the ponies do not panic," Chief Horgun warned. "I am going to call Astur's sea steeds."Kneeling at the edge of the still lagoon, he picked up a pair of smooth stones. His hands moved, and Shantar realized that he was tapping the stones together under the water in a steady rhythm. For what seemed a long time, nothing happened, then Shantar felt the boat lift and drop as the torchlight reflected back from a series of waves."Come, oh swift steeds of Astur!" The chief's voice was a deep croon. "Oh steeds of the sea, come to the call of the Children of Astur."The boat rocked again, more strongly, and they could hear a muffled splashing. It drew nearer in time with the soft chanting of the villagers who now lined the shore of the lagoon. From out.
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